12 Rules For Life | Jordan Peterson | Cliff Note Books
“12 Rules for Life” is a self-help book by Canadian clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson. The book provides a set of principles or “rules” for readers to live by in order to improve their lives and find meaning in a chaotic world. Here is a brief summary of each rule:
Stand up straight with your shoulders back: This rule emphasizes the importance of posture and body language in projecting confidence and commanding respect.
Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping: Peterson argues that many people neglect their own well-being and need to take better care of themselves.
Make friends with people who want the best for you: Surrounding yourself with supportive people can help you achieve your goals and improve your life.
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today: Rather than comparing yourself to others, focus on making progress and improving yourself.
Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them: This rule emphasizes the importance of discipline and setting boundaries with children.
Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world: Peterson argues that before you can try to fix the world’s problems, you should first focus on improving your own life.
Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient): This rule encourages readers to seek out purpose and meaning in their lives, rather than taking the easy or convenient path.
Tell the truth — or, at least, don’t lie: Honesty is important for building trust and maintaining healthy relationships.
Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t: This rule emphasizes the importance of being open-minded and receptive to learning from others.
Be precise in your speech: Peterson argues that using precise language can help clarify your thoughts and communicate more effectively.
Do not bother children when they are skateboarding: This rule emphasizes the importance of letting children take risks and learn from their mistakes.
Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street: This final rule encourages readers to appreciate and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Taking personal responsibility: Peterson emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for your own life and making choices that lead to personal growth and improvement.
Building meaningful relationships: Surrounding yourself with supportive people and treating others with kindness and respect can help you find meaning and purpose in life.
Pursuing purpose and meaning: Peterson argues that finding purpose and meaning in life is crucial for personal fulfillment and happiness.
Being honest and speaking the truth: Honesty and truthfulness are important for building trust and maintaining healthy relationships.
Continuously striving for self-improvement: Peterson encourages readers to constantly work on improving themselves, setting goals and making progress towards them.
Embracing chaos and order: Peterson argues that life is a balance of chaos and order, and that finding the right balance between the two can lead to a fulfilling life.
Accepting suffering and challenges: Peterson encourages readers to accept the challenges and suffering that come with life, and to learn from them rather than letting them defeat us.
QUOTES
“To stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open.”
“Order is not enough. You can’t just be stable, and secure, and unchanging, because there are still vital and important new things to be learned. Nonetheless, chaos can be too much. You can’t long tolerate being swamped and overwhelmed beyond your capacity to cope while you are learning what you still need to know.”
“Happiness is a pointless goal. Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”
“You cannot be protected from the things that frighten you and hurt you, but if you identify with the part of your being that is responsible for transformation, then you are always the equal, or more than the equal of the things that frighten you.”
“Meaning emerges when impulses are regulated, organized, and unified.”
“People who do not have goals can be said to be aimless, but that’s not exactly true. They do have aims; they’re just not very good ones.”
“If you’re not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing.”
“Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.”
“You don’t get to choose not to pay a price, you only get to choose which price you pay.”
“What you aim at determines what you see.”
AUTHOR
Jordan Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist, cultural critic, and professor of psychology at the University of Toronto. He was born on June 12, 1962, in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Peterson received his Bachelor of Arts in political science from the University of Alberta, and his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from McGill University.
Peterson is best known for his controversial views on politics, gender, and free speech, which have sparked widespread debate and criticism. He rose to fame after his opposition to Bill C-16, a Canadian law that added gender identity and expression to the list of prohibited grounds of discrimination, made him a prominent figure in the free speech debate.
In addition to his academic work, Peterson has written several books, including “Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief” and “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos.” He has also been a popular speaker, giving lectures and interviews on a wide range of topics related to psychology, philosophy, and culture.
Peterson has faced controversy throughout his career, with some accusing him of promoting controversial and harmful views. However, he has also gained a large following of supporters who admire his willingness to challenge mainstream ideas and speak out on controversial topics.
Despite the controversy surrounding him, Jordan Peterson has had a significant impact on the public discourse on issues such as gender, identity, and free speech.
CRITICISMS
“12 Rules for Life” has received both praise and criticism since its publication. Some of the main criticisms of the book include:
Oversimplification: Some critics argue that Peterson’s rules are oversimplified and fail to account for the complexities of real-world situations. They argue that his advice may be helpful in some cases but can be ineffective or even harmful in others.
Controversial views: Peterson’s views on topics such as gender and political correctness have been controversial, and some critics argue that his views perpetuate harmful stereotypes and discrimination.
Self-help approach: Some critics argue that Peterson’s book is too focused on personal responsibility and self-help, and fails to account for the impact of external factors such as systemic inequality and discrimination.
Lack of empirical evidence: Some critics argue that Peterson’s claims are not supported by empirical evidence, and that his advice is based more on personal anecdotes than on scientific research.
Political bias: Some critics argue that Peterson’s political views, particularly his opposition to social justice movements, may bias his advice and limit its relevance to a diverse audience.
It’s important to note that these criticisms are not universally held and that many readers have found the book to be helpful and inspiring. However, it’s important to approach the book critically and to evaluate Peterson’s advice in light of one’s own experiences and values.
SUMMARIES
Rule 1 in “12 Rules for Life” is “Stand up straight with your shoulders back.” In this chapter, Jordan Peterson argues that our body language and posture can have a significant impact on how we feel and how others perceive us.
Peterson believes that when we stand up straight with our shoulders back, we project confidence and assertiveness, which can make us feel more powerful and in control. On the other hand, slouching or hunching over can make us feel weak and insecure.
Furthermore, Peterson argues that our posture can affect our mood and behavior. For example, if we are feeling anxious or depressed, standing up straight and taking deep breaths can help us feel more calm and in control.
In addition to the psychological benefits of good posture, Peterson believes that it can also have physical health benefits, such as reducing back pain and improving breathing.
Overall, the message of Rule 1 is that our body language and posture are important factors in how we feel and how we are perceived by others. By standing up straight with our shoulders back, we can project confidence and assertiveness, improve our mood and behavior, and even improve our physical health.
Rule 2 in “12 Rules for Life” is “Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.” In this chapter, Jordan Peterson argues that many people are better at taking care of others than they are at taking care of themselves. He encourages readers to treat themselves with the same care and attention that they would give to someone they care about.
Peterson believes that we often neglect our own well-being and put the needs of others before our own. This can lead to burnout, stress, and even illness. By treating ourselves with the same care and attention that we give to others, we can improve our own well-being and become better equipped to help others.
The chapter provides practical advice on how to treat ourselves better, including getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating healthy foods, and taking time for ourselves to relax and recharge. Peterson also encourages readers to set goals and work towards them, as well as to take responsibility for their own lives and make choices that lead to personal growth and improvement.
Overall, the message of Rule 2 is that taking care of ourselves is just as important as taking care of others, and that treating ourselves with kindness and compassion can lead to greater well-being and a better ability to help others. By making self-care a priority, we can become more resilient, productive, and fulfilled in our lives.
Rule 3 in “12 Rules for Life” is “Make friends with people who want the best for you.” In this chapter, Jordan Peterson emphasizes the importance of surrounding ourselves with supportive people who encourage our growth and development.
Peterson believes that the people we surround ourselves with have a profound impact on our lives. If we surround ourselves with negative or toxic people, we are likely to experience negative emotions and be held back in our personal and professional lives. On the other hand, if we surround ourselves with supportive and positive people, we are likely to experience greater well-being and be more successful in achieving our goals.
Peterson suggests that we should seek out people who are positive, supportive, and have our best interests at heart. He also emphasizes the importance of being a good friend ourselves, and treating others with kindness and respect.
The chapter provides practical advice on how to build positive relationships, including joining clubs or organizations that align with our interests, attending events and gatherings, and being open to meeting new people. Peterson also emphasizes the importance of being honest and authentic in our relationships, and avoiding people who are manipulative or negative.
Overall, the message of Rule 3 is that building positive relationships is a crucial part of personal growth and well-being. By surrounding ourselves with supportive and positive people, we can experience greater happiness, success, and fulfillment in our lives.
Rule 4 in “12 Rules for Life” is “Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.” In this chapter, Jordan Peterson argues that comparing ourselves to others can be harmful to our well-being and can hold us back from achieving our goals.
Peterson believes that it’s natural to compare ourselves to others, and that we often do so in order to gauge our own progress and success. However, he argues that this can lead to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and self-doubt.
Instead of comparing ourselves to others, Peterson suggests that we focus on making progress and improving ourselves. He encourages readers to set personal goals and work towards them, and to measure our progress against ourselves, rather than against others.
The chapter provides practical advice on how to focus on personal growth, including identifying our own strengths and weaknesses, taking action to improve ourselves, and celebrating our successes along the way. Peterson also emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for our own lives, and making choices that lead to personal growth and improvement.
Overall, the message of Rule 4 is that personal growth and improvement should be our focus, rather than comparing ourselves to others. By setting personal goals and focusing on our own progress, we can improve our own lives and become more successful and fulfilled.
Rule 5 in “12 Rules for Life” is “Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.” In this chapter, Jordan Peterson emphasizes the importance of discipline and setting boundaries with children.
Peterson believes that children need structure and discipline in order to learn self-control and responsibility. Without proper discipline, children may develop bad habits and behaviors that can harm themselves and others.
Peterson suggests that parents should set clear rules and boundaries for their children, and should enforce those rules consistently. He also emphasizes the importance of positive reinforcement, such as praise and rewards, in encouraging good behavior.
The chapter provides practical advice on how to discipline children effectively, including using time-outs, withholding privileges, and using logical consequences to teach children about cause and effect. Peterson also emphasizes the importance of being a good role model for children, and setting a positive example with our own behavior.
Overall, the message of Rule 5 is that children need structure and discipline in order to learn self-control and responsibility. By setting clear rules and boundaries, and enforcing them consistently, parents can help their children develop good habits and behaviors that will serve them well throughout their lives.
Rule 6 in “12 Rules for Life” is “Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.” In this chapter, Jordan Peterson argues that before we can try to fix the world’s problems, we should first focus on improving our own lives.
Peterson believes that many people are quick to criticize the world and blame external factors for their problems, without taking responsibility for their own lives. He argues that in order to make a positive difference in the world, we must first take care of our own lives and make sure that we are living in a way that is aligned with our values and goals.
The chapter provides practical advice on how to improve our own lives, including setting personal goals, organizing our physical surroundings, and developing good habits and routines. Peterson also emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for our own lives, and avoiding the trap of blaming external factors for our problems.
The message of Rule 6 is that by focusing on our own lives and making positive changes, we can become better equipped to make a positive difference in the world. By taking responsibility for our own lives, we can become more resilient, productive, and fulfilled, and can then work towards making a positive impact in the world.
Rule 7 in “12 Rules for Life” is “Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient).” In this chapter, Jordan Peterson argues that pursuing what is meaningful, rather than what is easy or convenient, is crucial for personal growth and fulfillment.
Peterson believes that many people are too focused on immediate gratification and short-term pleasures, and that this can lead to feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction in the long run. Instead, he suggests that we should focus on pursuing goals and activities that have deeper meaning and significance for us.
The chapter provides practical advice on how to pursue what is meaningful, including identifying our own values and beliefs, setting long-term goals, and developing a sense of purpose and direction in life. Peterson also emphasizes the importance of taking risks and facing challenges in pursuit of meaningful goals, rather than always taking the easy or safe path.
Overall, the message of Rule 7 is that pursuing what is meaningful is crucial for personal growth and fulfillment. By focusing on long-term goals and activities that align with our values and beliefs, we can find greater purpose and meaning in our lives, and become more resilient and fulfilled in the face of challenges and setbacks.
Rule 8 in “12 Rules for Life” is “Tell the truth — or, at least, don’t lie.” In this chapter, Jordan Peterson emphasizes the importance of honesty and truthfulness in building trust and maintaining healthy relationships.
Peterson believes that lying and dishonesty can be harmful to ourselves and to others. When we lie, we undermine our own integrity and self-respect, and we erode the trust that others have in us. He argues that telling the truth, even if it is difficult or uncomfortable, is crucial for building strong and healthy relationships with others.
The chapter provides practical advice on how to tell the truth, including being honest with ourselves about our own faults and weaknesses, speaking truthfully to others even when it is uncomfortable or difficult, and avoiding gossip and rumors.
Peterson also emphasizes the importance of avoiding self-deception, and being willing to confront uncomfortable truths about ourselves and the world around us. He argues that by being honest with ourselves and others, we can build stronger relationships, become more trustworthy and respected, and achieve greater personal growth and fulfillment.
Overall, the message of Rule 8 is that honesty and truthfulness are crucial for building trust and maintaining healthy relationships. By telling the truth and avoiding lies and self-deception, we can become more trustworthy, respected, and fulfilled in our personal and professional lives.
Rule 9 in “12 Rules for Life” is “Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t.” In this chapter, Jordan Peterson emphasizes the importance of being open-minded and receptive to learning from others.
Peterson believes that we often fall into the trap of assuming that we already know everything there is to know about a particular topic or situation. He argues that this closed-mindedness can limit our ability to learn and grow, and can lead to misunderstandings and conflict in our relationships.
The chapter provides practical advice on how to be more open-minded and receptive to learning from others, including listening actively and attentively, asking questions, and avoiding jumping to conclusions. Peterson also emphasizes the importance of avoiding stereotypes and assumptions, and being willing to consider different perspectives and viewpoints.
The message of Rule 9 is that being open-minded and receptive to learning from others is crucial for personal growth and understanding. By assuming that the person we are listening to might know something we don’t, we can become more empathetic, understanding, and knowledgeable, and can build stronger and more fulfilling relationships with others.
Rule 10 in “12 Rules for Life” is “Be precise in your speech.” In this chapter, Jordan Peterson emphasizes the importance of clear and accurate communication in building trust and avoiding misunderstandings.
Peterson believes that our words have a powerful impact on others, and that it is important to choose our words carefully and be precise in our speech. He argues that imprecise or vague language can lead to misunderstandings and confusion, and can erode the trust that others have in us.
The chapter provides practical advice on how to be precise in our speech, including using clear and specific language, avoiding exaggeration or hyperbole, and being willing to clarify our meaning if necessary. Peterson also emphasizes the importance of listening carefully to others, and being willing to consider different perspectives and viewpoints.
The message of Rule 10 is that clear and accurate communication is crucial for building trust and avoiding misunderstandings. By being precise in our speech and choosing our words carefully, we can build stronger and more fulfilling relationships with others, and become more effective communicators in both personal and professional settings.
Rule 11 in “12 Rules for Life” is “Do not bother children when they are skateboarding.” In this chapter, Jordan Peterson uses the example of skateboarding to illustrate the importance of allowing children to take risks and explore their own boundaries.
Peterson believes that children need opportunities to take risks and push their own limits in order to develop self-confidence and resilience. He argues that overly protective parenting can stifle children’s growth and prevent them from developing the skills they need to navigate the challenges of the world.
The chapter provides practical advice on how to balance risk-taking with safety, including setting clear boundaries and rules, allowing children to experience natural consequences, and being willing to let children take reasonable risks.
Peterson also emphasizes the importance of allowing children to pursue their own interests and passions, rather than imposing our own expectations or ambitions on them. He argues that by allowing children to explore their own interests and take risks in pursuit of their goals, we can help them develop a sense of purpose and direction in life.
Overall, the message of Rule 11 is that children need opportunities to take risks and explore their own boundaries in order to develop self-confidence and resilience. By allowing children to pursue their own interests and take reasonable risks, we can help them become more self-sufficient, independent, and successful in navigating the challenges of the world.
Rule 12 in “12 Rules for Life” is “Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.” In this chapter, Jordan Peterson uses the example of petting a cat to illustrate the importance of appreciating and enjoying the simple pleasures of life.
Peterson believes that we often become so focused on achieving our goals and solving our problems that we forget to appreciate the beauty and joy of the world around us. He argues that by taking time to appreciate the small things in life, such as petting a cat, we can become more mindful and present in the moment, and experience greater happiness and fulfillment.
The chapter provides practical advice on how to appreciate the simple pleasures of life, including taking time to enjoy nature, spending time with loved ones, and cultivating a sense of gratitude for the good things in our lives.
Peterson also emphasizes the importance of finding balance in our lives, and avoiding the trap of becoming too focused on achievement and success at the expense of our own well-being and happiness.
The message of Rule 12 is that taking time to appreciate the small pleasures of life is crucial for personal well-being and fulfillment. By cultivating a sense of mindfulness and gratitude, we can become more present and engaged in the world around us, and experience greater happiness and fulfillment in our lives.